Absolute Blah...

life is a big fat bitch.
and so is the world.
but.
some things are sweet.
Its just a phase, maybe it’ll pass
But just as long as it lasts…I’ll smile,
wont you too?
Even half a smile will do
(:

Heart broken? Nah!

It happens every time. I like a guy..like him more...like him crazily..start dating, get trapped in an emotion which has no name. Every thing seems Bollywood. But soon after the oh-so-cute-guy turns into the biggest nightmare. I have no clue why how and when I turn these guys into an intolerable species called, 'obsessed'. My journalism fails to answer all these questions.

I hate being judged. I have made that clear to every single person I met. I don't judge you...so why the hell would you?If you don't like me, don't pretend to be friends.Go and bury yourself somewhere else.

I have no clue why does it happen to me everytime..

No.no more heartbreaks. The heart is already broken. But the man I thought had the perfect glue to fix it, couldn't. Smashed it a lil' more. A bad engineer, I would say.:)

P.S. : I am picking up the broken pieces. A few seems missing. But doesn't matter. Ill take care of the ones that's left.

I sincerely wish I didn't have a heart.It just wouldn't hurt so much.

Unexpected always..

Things have been unexpected for me all the time...

eight months in ACJ...
I thought I would hate the place, and life would be difficult..
but 60 more days is not enough to absorb the love that's all around in the air.

Made some great friends.
Learnt more than I expected.

And most of all...learnt to be on my own. :)

Things to happen for the good.

P.S. I just came back this morning, after a nice weekend at home.delicious food!
I sit here in the lab, with my sore foot high up on the air. It hurts.:(

Yet, it dosen't matter anymore...I have learnt how to be on my OWN.

finally.... ACJ.

No more form filling.no more last dates.no more demand drafts.no more mugging up names from newspaper in sleepy eyes.no more running about.no more traveling for interviews.
finally it is Asian College of Journalism.
the day I got on the coromandel express to go to chennai for my interview,I was not just sceptical,but almost was hating the trip in the non-ac coach because of unavailability of tickets.and more so because...no more free messages for the next 5days!
no body understood my language.I was an alien if I did not know tamil or telegu.the names of places were hardly pronounceable.the smell of idli-vada.extremely hot with maximum humidity.onions.getting highly excited at noticing KFC!
yes,I was in Tamil Nadu.:)
the interview happened.the unusual sort of interview.no current affairs,no grilling.but just a plain simple interview.From where do i find weed in kolkata to how much i hate mamata banerjee,I had to tell them all.
next two days went about trying not to get bored..and me and mom exploring tamil nadu.
finally,after all the hustle bustle we landed in kolkata.ah!home feels wonderful.
two days later,after I got to know I got thru' ACJ,it was decided.I am going.though many advised not to..'journalism?huh!u'll never get a job'...'complete your masters,economics has a lot of prospects'...and etc...though I was sure of my decision to pursue journalism all these years,but a strange fear seemed to envelope me.I hate the feeling of going away.I hate leaving my cushiony bed here;the window thru which i could see the moon;my book shelf;lyeing down on my terrace mending my heatbreaks;puchkawalla;chicken rolls and those evening strolls;durga pujo;friends and all those sudden plans;group studies;my mom's lap;fights with my sister,blaming each other for every thing;messed up room;shopping malls and kebabs with dad;nandan and movies;newmarket and shopping sprees.Can I simply leave them all and get into a new life?
I'll be leaving on 9th.three more days.yes,I listened to my heart.:)
no more sceptical.excited,happy and confident,determined.yet,the fear of building a new life.leaving away the most precious things still scares me.keeping my fingers crossed.
off to a new city.away from home..

at peace.

Ever felt like as if you are lying on a cloud,and the cloud simply moves.slowly?
Ever felt the rain is pouring just on YOU,even though it isn't raining at all?
Ever felt you could jump off a cliff,without being hurt at all?
Ever felt,that the silence could be so beautiful?
Ever felt you could keep humming tunes all day?
Ever felt you could just do NOTHING,not even write,just stare blank and feel at peace?

I feel all of these.today.
No,I ain't in love.My final year exams are over.
I feel like a graduate today.:)

shoaib-ayesha

“Shoaib was duped and shown pictures of another girl as Ayesha.
Shoaib had fallen madly in love with the girl whose pictures were sent to him.But that girl was not Ayesha. Shoaib was trapped."

awrite.
This guy fell for a photograph,and decided to get married without even seeing the girl for once.
and the actual girl was somebody else.
dude,if you fall in love with a photograph,inevitably the girl has to be somebody else...!
And the girl...ayesha,got married to somebody she didn't even know.I mean 'nikah over the phone'...and that too without knowing how the person is...BIZARRE!!

I don't know who should be sympathized.
shoaib.ayesha or sania.

form filling phase!!:x

I am soo lousy,crappy,icky,rotten,filthy,gooey......and all the synonyms of 'LOUSY' when it comes to filling up forms!
from Google searching "best mass communication colleges",standing in the queue in banks for a demand draft,clicking passport sized pics,to running about here and there pulling my hair,to checking and rechecking and even more rechecking...to finally getting to post the whole thing...its just too much!!
TOO MUCH OF A BURDEN!
wheeeew!
wish I had just applied to one particular institute,and believe I would get thru'.that would make things so easy!
but then again that would be too much of overestimating myself!
I have to keep on doing this.Filling up forms.I wish I never have to do this again in my life.


ps:I just got a call from one of the institutes I applied to.After all the checking and rechecking...I still did not notice that I didn't stick my photograph in the box made in the application form!they have asked me to send it by tomorrow.I am in need of serious help!