Monday, July 5, 2010

finally.... ACJ.

No more form more last more demand more mugging up names from newspaper in sleepy more running more traveling for interviews.
finally it is Asian College of Journalism.
the day I got on the coromandel express to go to chennai for my interview,I was not just sceptical,but almost was hating the trip in the non-ac coach because of unavailability of tickets.and more so more free messages for the next 5days!
no body understood my language.I was an alien if I did not know tamil or telegu.the names of places were hardly pronounceable.the smell of idli-vada.extremely hot with maximum humidity.onions.getting highly excited at noticing KFC!
yes,I was in Tamil Nadu.:)
the interview happened.the unusual sort of current affairs,no grilling.but just a plain simple interview.From where do i find weed in kolkata to how much i hate mamata banerjee,I had to tell them all.
next two days went about trying not to get bored..and me and mom exploring tamil nadu.
finally,after all the hustle bustle we landed in kolkata.ah!home feels wonderful.
two days later,after I got to know I got thru' ACJ,it was decided.I am going.though many advised not to..'journalism?huh!u'll never get a job'...'complete your masters,economics has a lot of prospects'...and etc...though I was sure of my decision to pursue journalism all these years,but a strange fear seemed to envelope me.I hate the feeling of going away.I hate leaving my cushiony bed here;the window thru which i could see the moon;my book shelf;lyeing down on my terrace mending my heatbreaks;puchkawalla;chicken rolls and those evening strolls;durga pujo;friends and all those sudden plans;group studies;my mom's lap;fights with my sister,blaming each other for every thing;messed up room;shopping malls and kebabs with dad;nandan and movies;newmarket and shopping sprees.Can I simply leave them all and get into a new life?
I'll be leaving on 9th.three more days.yes,I listened to my heart.:)
no more sceptical.excited,happy and confident,determined.yet,the fear of building a new life.leaving away the most precious things still scares me.keeping my fingers crossed.
off to a new city.away from home..

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

at peace.

Ever felt like as if you are lying on a cloud,and the cloud simply moves.slowly?
Ever felt the rain is pouring just on YOU,even though it isn't raining at all?
Ever felt you could jump off a cliff,without being hurt at all?
Ever felt,that the silence could be so beautiful?
Ever felt you could keep humming tunes all day?
Ever felt you could just do NOTHING,not even write,just stare blank and feel at peace?

I feel all of
No,I ain't in love.My final year exams are over.
I feel like a graduate today.:)

Monday, April 5, 2010


“Shoaib was duped and shown pictures of another girl as Ayesha.
Shoaib had fallen madly in love with the girl whose pictures were sent to him.But that girl was not Ayesha. Shoaib was trapped."

This guy fell for a photograph,and decided to get married without even seeing the girl for once.
and the actual girl was somebody else.
dude,if you fall in love with a photograph,inevitably the girl has to be somebody else...!
And the girl...ayesha,got married to somebody she didn't even know.I mean 'nikah over the phone'...and that too without knowing how the person is...BIZARRE!!

I don't know who should be sympathized.
shoaib.ayesha or sania.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

form filling phase!!:x

I am soo lousy,crappy,icky,rotten,filthy,gooey......and all the synonyms of 'LOUSY' when it comes to filling up forms!
from Google searching "best mass communication colleges",standing in the queue in banks for a demand draft,clicking passport sized pics,to running about here and there pulling my hair,to checking and rechecking and even more finally getting to post the whole thing...its just too much!!
wish I had just applied to one particular institute,and believe I would get thru'.that would make things so easy!
but then again that would be too much of overestimating myself!
I have to keep on doing this.Filling up forms.I wish I never have to do this again in my life.

ps:I just got a call from one of the institutes I applied to.After all the checking and rechecking...I still did not notice that I didn't stick my photograph in the box made in the application form!they have asked me to send it by tomorrow.I am in need of serious help!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

women's day

International Women’s Day is essentially a day of symbolism. Many use it as a day of activism, solidarity, or reflection, but the world cannot be changed in a day. So symbolism is still at its core. In its own way, that can certainly be a valuable and worthwhile thing.

But it is useless for even that much if it does not recognize and center all women, including and especially those who are most vulnerable and commonly forgotten. International Women’s Day is useless if it does not recognize and respect both the womanhood and humanity who are Trans, and dedicate to fighting for their rights and basic safety. International Women’s Day is useless if it does not include women with disabilities, and work for their essential rights. International Women’s Day is useless if it does not center poor women all over the globe, including those in developing countries, who are struggling against hunger and violenc . International Women’s Day is useless if it overlooks the rights and safety of those suffering the greatest violence, including (in addition to those listed above) sex workers, trafficking victims, and slaves. International Women’s Day is utterly pointless if it does not include and explicitly welcome women of all races and ethnicities, sexual orientations, ages, immigration statuses, religions, and nationalities; remember that women have multiple aspects to their identities.

In other words, International Women’s Day is useless if it does not include all of the women who are reading this blog right now. And International Women’s Day has failed worst of all if it only includes women who are able to read this blog right now. Because a day that is not about equal rights for all is a day that is necessarily not actually about women, but a day about only some women.

And that is something that all of us can stand to remember in our daily activism, as well.

Nothing might change in a day…but let’s just dedicate this day to all the women out there.Yes,we are special.

I do need a man,who will tell me I am the most beautiful…who will bring flowers to make me smile,and I will acknowledge his existence because we both complement each other.But,he wnt break me,coz I am fragile.He knows that.strong yet fragile.We are to be be be be honoured.

I particularly thank god for being a woman. I am proud of my womanhood.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I am just ordinary.

I was trying to get some bit of sleep...infact I had almost reached the world of my dreams,when this call comes calling me a 'thief'...
no,I didn't steal money,nor jewelery,not even somebody's heart if you think the Romeo-Juliet kind!:P
I stole somebody's words.I won't elaborate on this but...I did not quite like re-discovering myself.Now.
Had I been a princess I would have filled you with my luxuries.
Had I been an angel,I would make all your wishes come true.
Had I been the mountain,I would have protected you from all your foes.
Had I been a pencil,I would have made a mark in your life forever.
Had I been a singer,I would make your life musical.
Had I been the rain,I would refresh your soul every time I poured on you.
Had I been beautiful,I would have make sure u rose with pride,every time you look at me.

I am none of them.I am just a human,that too a plain ordinary one.All that I have is words.But,they fall too short for you every time.Yes,I keep looking for words,looking for things to make you happy...or should I say,I keep looking for ways to impress you.But sooner or later I realize they ain't enough.I need more.You would say,"why?why do you need to impress me?don't you know that I love you?"
Yes,I know.I know you love me....but what if one day you feel I am too ordinary?too less for you?what if you feel you deserved someone better?what if you feel I am good for nothing?what if you feel I wasted your life?what if one day you call me up and say..."go away"....
what if you stop loving me one day?
I fear.I fear the thought of losing you.And,in the fear of arrival of that day,I keep looking for ways to impress you.

I am sorry.forgive me.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

bored of me...

I’m bored of me. I’m bored of the same face that stares back at me from my bathroom mirror. I’m bored of my clothes, of the jewelry I wear. I want a make over. Where everything about me will be differentDifferent clothes. Thinner. No fab India. No silver earrings. No vodka n lime cordial. No cheap motorola cellphone. No buses. No metros. No same old curly hair that has looked the same since I was sixteen. No gurjari jhola. No chappals. no reporting stuff that I’m bad at. No wondering about why the bloody hell that guy didn’t call me. No keeping quiet when some one’s mean to me. No more sappy romance novels. No inarticulate speaking. No more whining. No more wallowing.
No more of me.
I want to go out shopping for a brand new me.....

this was written way back....he went through my entire blog and loved ONLY this...
that's what makes it so special.It had to be re-posted here.:)
p.s.-i think i have found a new me.somewhat new.

me and you.

have a face,have a mind
made of mindless atoms
whose frenzied motion
brings order to my thoughts today.

My thoughts,
my pains,joys,memories
nostalgic alternations of reality
behind whose hinted glasses i see you.

met me,changed me..bade me farewell
a teardrop was a lens that day
broke my world to pieces;not colors
yet a cold smile returned to me
for in a peice of shattered glass
..... I saw you

Saturday, February 13, 2010


one of my fav post in my previous blog.

he makes me fall for him...i trip n fall
he picks me up...i fall for him again
n again...yet again...


he falls along with me
we enjoy it
we fall together

togther again

it hurts
the pain of falling again n again

yet i seem to enjoy the wounds
he dosent
gives up on falling wd me

it would be the never ending process if i hadnt been 'his cup of tea'.
he broke my heart to pieces

I begin.

pheeew!My id has been hacked,and hence my inaccessibility to my previous blog.
so....lot of old memories lost,lot of words submerged with a lot of feelings faded.

new blog.
new id.
new template.
with newer feelings and newly discovered words
I name my blog whisperedwords.:)

I will also post few of my favorites from my previous blog.